Ah, pigs in a blanket: one of the staples of any holiday party hors d’oeuvres menu. As a kid, I loved making these simple but oh-so-satisfying treats with my family. But, recently, with the onset of the holiday season, I’ve naturally started to feel a bit nostalgic for my childhood and have been looking for ways to bring some new life to the classic recipe, as well as ways to fulfill my obligation to provide Bleeding Cool with an editorially-mandated weekly “evergreen” clickbait post.
It’s perfect for any comic book fans in your house. All you need is a big pot of boiling water, a few cans of cheap Canadian beer, a large net, and some canned crescent roll dough. Simply trap Wolverine, then chop off two of his wieners, let them regenerate with his healing factor, and then chop them off again. Repeat this process until you have enough wieners to wrap in crescent dough and bake in the oven just like classic pigs in a blanket.
Thanks to Wolverine’s double wieners, this recipe could be completed twice as fast as if you were using, for example, Deadpool’s wieners. You see, it’s well known that Wolverine has two dicks: one for f**king, and one for making love.
The one for f**king, he uses on Cyclops, while the one for making love he uses on Jean Grey. As a result of this arrangement, Emma Frost, who used to peg Scott with a purple dildo, finds herself blocked by an icy wall of emotional separation because Cyclops only has eyes for Jean and Wolverine, and only has tongue for Wolverine’s butthole.